果冻传媒

First, serving as chairman of for a year was a wonderful and profoundly educational experience for the bachelor鈥檚 student of Industrial Engineering, Fabian Lucas Luijckx. The student rowing association鈥攂oasting its boathouse on the Eindhoven Canal and even Olympic medalists among its ranks鈥攈as around 400 members, ranging from recreational rowers to top international competitors. Last academic year, the association was his club.

What he hadn鈥檛 anticipated, however, was that this intensive and enriching board year would also teach him invaluable lessons about himself鈥攚here his limits lie, how to navigate them, and how to protect himself from another burnout.

Perfectionism

Since September 2023, Fabian has been on call 24/7 as chairman of the 49th board. 鈥淚t was an amazing experience, but it also took up a huge amount of my time. Because of my perfectionism, I kept investing more and more hours. I loved it and found it so important that, at first, I didn鈥檛 even realize I was pushing myself to my limits.鈥�

Warnings

His body had warned him earlier that he was overdoing it. During a training camp in February, he noticed extreme fatigue. He slept a lot and tried to take breaks but kept pushing forward.

The second warning came during the board holiday in May. 鈥淪ome days, I struggled to get out of bed. My body had been pushed too far for too long, but I found it hard to change. In my head, I kept thinking, 鈥楾his still needs to get done,鈥� and 鈥業 still want to do that.鈥� I wanted to start new, exciting projects and focus on them. As long as I stayed busy, it kept me going.鈥�

Olympics

The Olympic Games in Paris, at the end of Fabian's board year, were a great success for his club鈥攂ut for him, they were the final blow. 罢丑锚迟补ns and Lisa Scheenaard won silver and finished fourth, respectively. Fabian was there.

鈥淚 felt it was important to make it clear that Sander and Lisa are members of our association.鈥� He managed press contacts on behalf of the club, ensured there were photos of Sander with the 果冻传媒 flag, and joined the celebrations at the Holland House in Paris. 鈥淚t was an incredible experience. I enjoyed it, but at the same time, I felt a lot of pressure.鈥�

I felt so alone, even within the group. That鈥檚 when I knew: 鈥楽hit, I have to do something about this.鈥�

Fabian Lucas Luijckx

鈥淚n quieter moments in Paris, I realized I wasn鈥檛 doing well. I went through the motions, doing everything I needed to, but I felt no real connection to it. I felt alone and not fully understood. It was a strange sensation because when you think of loneliness, you picture someone sitting alone. But I felt alone within the group. That鈥檚 when I knew: 鈥楽hit, I have to do something about this.鈥欌��

Whistled back

It was the third time during his board year that Fabian鈥檚 body signaled him to slow down. 鈥淚 realized I was completely overworked. This wasn鈥檛 something I could fix with a cup of coffee and pushing through anymore. I had reached my limit and needed to take a step back.鈥�

He took a few days off, turned off his phone, and disconnected from everyone. 鈥淭hat helped me reset.鈥�

But a month later, after finishing his board year, the burnout fully hit. 鈥淲hat I did at 罢丑锚迟补 had become a huge part of my identity, and I only realized that when I stopped. That鈥檚 when I collapsed. I was exhausted and lost interest in everything. I carried the weight of a year of overworking myself.鈥�

I was frustrated鈥擨 had worked so hard for a year, and what did I get in return? A burnout!

Fabian Lucas Luijckx

鈥淚 talked a lot with close friends and saw the student psychologist at 果冻传媒 a few times. That helped me gain a different perspective. I could also express my frustration about working so hard for a year only to end up burned out.鈥�

He met with his fellow board members one by one. 鈥淚 found that easier than addressing the whole group at once. It wasn鈥檛 easy for them either. In the end, we all talked about it. I felt very vulnerable, but they responded well and said they understood. Talking about it was the first step鈥攖he beginning of my road to recovery.鈥�

Difficulty letting go

鈥淒uring my board year, I struggled to delegate tasks to other board members. It felt like a dilemma鈥攖hey might become overwhelmed if they had to take on my work. At the same time, I found it hard to let go. I wanted to do everything myself.鈥�

Running turned out to be an excellent outlet for Fabian. 鈥淚 needed to do something鈥攖o get out of bed and go outside. So I took up running again. It was a process of trial and error, but every time I went for a run, I could feel it helping me.鈥�

Internship at ProRail

In September 2024, Fabian felt well enough to begin his internship for his Bachelor's Final Project at ProRail in Utrecht. 鈥淚t wasn鈥檛 full-time, and I didn鈥檛 have to take any courses during that period. That made it manageable, although there were still some weeks when I had to drag myself to the office, and I could hardly get anything done.鈥�

鈥淔ortunately, ProRail turned out to be a very people-oriented organization. My manager called to check in on me at the end of my first day. I said, 鈥業 want to finish this and that before I go home.鈥� She replied that not everything has to be done immediately and that tomorrow is a new day.鈥�

Looking back, Fabian sees that this was the perfect internship for him. 鈥淚f I had gone back to college after my board year and burnout, I would have put too much pressure on myself again.鈥�

Beyond shame

The conversation with Fabian occurred in mid-January 2025, six months after he hit burnout. He is upbeat, open, and energetic. 鈥淚 think I鈥檓 largely on top of it. I鈥檝e moved past the shame and talk about it openly.鈥�

鈥淢y perfectionist nature is part of who I am鈥擨 like doing things well and enjoy going the extra mile. I鈥檓 always unconsciously seeking approval, chasing that dopamine hit you get when someone tells you you did a good job. It鈥檚 like getting a like on Instagram. It feels great, but after half an hour, that feeling fades, and you start looking for it again.鈥�

I鈥檓 always subconsciously chasing that dopamine hit that comes from approval.

Fabian Lucas Luijckx

鈥淚 had to learn to lower my ambition a bit鈥攁nd to accept that in myself. That was perhaps the biggest challenge for me this past year. I try to focus more on what I can do and what I can delegate to others. And I鈥檓 learning to speak up when I can鈥檛 keep a promise.鈥�

Saying 'no'

鈥淚 used to say 鈥榶es鈥� to everything fun, even when it didn鈥檛 fit into my schedule鈥攚hether at 罢丑锚迟补, in my personal life, or with an exciting project for my video company. I鈥檓 no longer twisting myself in all directions when someone asks me for something. If it fits into my schedule, great. If not, I have the confidence to say 鈥榥o.鈥� I trust that people will come back to me. If there鈥檚 one thing I鈥檝e learned from my board year, it鈥檚 to believe in my ability to accomplish enough. That has been a valuable lesson.鈥�

鈥淚 also consciously take time to catch my breath. I ask myself whether I should keep working or go for a run鈥攁nd I try to choose the run more often. Recently, I even ran the half marathon in Egmond aan Zee.鈥� These days, the runner鈥檚 high gives him that coveted dopamine hit.

I鈥檓 no longer twisting myself in all directions when someone asks me for something.'

Fabian Lucas Luijckx

Fabian hopes his story will help others. 鈥淭alk to someone if you're struggling. And if you notice someone else isn鈥檛 doing well, reach out鈥攁sk how they鈥檙e doing and give them the space to open up. That鈥檚 the first step.鈥�